The Black Grand Piano

A piano. A black grand piano. Sitting in the corner of the darkened room. So pitch black that you won’t find anything if you’re not looking for it.

I never knew I could play the piano. I always thought I didn’t know how. But somehow I’m tickling the piano keys and creating this beautiful melody that I hadn’t thought I had the ability to create.

I keep on playing for a while; so naturally. You’d think that I’ve been doing this my whole life. I start to mouth words from a song that doesn’t exist. My vision starts to blur all of sudden. I can’t see the keys and it doesn’t stop me from playing. I keep playing without a flaw. With more passion and energy that I never knew I possessed.

It starts to hurt now. It’s beginning to hurt a lot. I can feel my heart start to stop beating. It’s beating so fast. And I can still feel it breaking. It hurts so much. But that doesn’t stop me from playing the piano. If anything it makes me play harder.

My tears are falling with much more freedom now. At it’s own volition. And I keep singing silently to myself. I’ve started to play so hard my fingers have started to bleed. And I can’t stop. I refuse to stop for some reason that’s unknown to me.

It hurts. It hurts so much. I want it to stop. But I don’t know how to make it stop hurting. I can’t make it stop.

I keep playing with all the passion that I have, and I keep crying for all the things that I will never have, and keep hurting for all the things that I once had.

Tears start to stop falling. And my heart keeps on hurting more than ever. I start to slow down my playing until it’s the original melody that I’ve started with, and I keep on playing for the rest of the day in the darkness. And I keep on playing.


7 Responses to “The Black Grand Piano”

  1. 1 Touche' July 26, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    A self fueling agony that keeps the fire within.
    A whirlwind of pain with each key stroke

    Beautifully written.

  2. 2 Nomad July 27, 2007 at 5:10 am

    very beautiful indeed.
    but it seems to me that your in a very dark mood these days XD
    remember your friends are here for you if u feel like talking.

  3. 3 Raven July 28, 2007 at 12:13 pm

    Sarah, If I could ask you to do one thing…

    I’d ask you to go sit on the ocean shore, and let the waves hug you, close your eyes… and just let go.

    Seems like things are taking their toll on ya… o mashallah I can see you got good friends that are willing to help you with anything. *points at Nomad*. Try something different… *points at nomad again*

  4. 5 Vinnie August 1, 2007 at 9:04 am

    Your self expression Mishmisha indicates artistic talents
    I love teh description of playing it away. When your a musician u r blessed w/ being able to express ur self thru amazing instruments

  5. 6 MishMisha August 2, 2007 at 9:51 am

    thanks 🙂

    ummm ok thanks 🙂

    there’s nothing wrong with me. i’m perfectly fine.. but thanks anyway ^_^;

    i know right? 😉

    hehe i never actually thought about that ;P

  6. 7 Chroma-Trauma August 3, 2007 at 12:41 pm

    Beautifull, Your writing is captivating. It’s the first I read for you and ensh’allah won’t be the last ..

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Words of wisdom..

Just when you think life's a bitch, she has puppies.

July 2007
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