Archive for July, 2007

The Black Grand Piano

A piano. A black grand piano. Sitting in the corner of the darkened room. So pitch black that you won’t find anything if you’re not looking for it.

I never knew I could play the piano. I always thought I didn’t know how. But somehow I’m tickling the piano keys and creating this beautiful melody that I hadn’t thought I had the ability to create.

I keep on playing for a while; so naturally. You’d think that I’ve been doing this my whole life. I start to mouth words from a song that doesn’t exist. My vision starts to blur all of sudden. I can’t see the keys and it doesn’t stop me from playing. I keep playing without a flaw. With more passion and energy that I never knew I possessed.

It starts to hurt now. It’s beginning to hurt a lot. I can feel my heart start to stop beating. It’s beating so fast. And I can still feel it breaking. It hurts so much. But that doesn’t stop me from playing the piano. If anything it makes me play harder.

My tears are falling with much more freedom now. At it’s own volition. And I keep singing silently to myself. I’ve started to play so hard my fingers have started to bleed. And I can’t stop. I refuse to stop for some reason that’s unknown to me.

It hurts. It hurts so much. I want it to stop. But I don’t know how to make it stop hurting. I can’t make it stop.

I keep playing with all the passion that I have, and I keep crying for all the things that I will never have, and keep hurting for all the things that I once had.

Tears start to stop falling. And my heart keeps on hurting more than ever. I start to slow down my playing until it’s the original melody that I’ve started with, and I keep on playing for the rest of the day in the darkness. And I keep on playing.


You cannot run away from a weakness; you must sometimes fight it out or perish. And if that be so, why not now, and where you stand? — Robert Louis Stevenson

This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us?
Did it steal into our lives, or did we seek it out and embrace it?
What happened to us?
That we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war…
Hoping for their safe return…
But knowing that some will be lost along the way.
When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows, swallowed whole by the darkness.
Does this darkness have a name?
Is it your name?

i don’t know why.. but when i read this.. i just had to post it..

It Looks Like A Giant…


‘nough said..

Pity The Poor Egg, It Only Gets Laid Once

is it me or are people getting more stupid everyday?

went to the beach today. got this awesome tan!! yay meeeee… i lurve the beach *sigh*

if you don’t know this about me now you do.. i love stewie! he is soo rad and i was reading family guy quotes and i found these:

  1. Guy on Airplane: Oh great, I always end up sitting next to a damn baby.
    Stewie: What did you just say?
    Lois: Stewie, stop fussing.
    Stewie: Pipe down Lois. (Slaps guy on head.) Hey big man, turn around. Oh you can’t hear me now. I was going to watch the movie, but forget it. For the next 5 hours, you’re my bitch.
  2. (Lois finds a note in Chris’s pocket)
    Lois: Huh, what’s this? You know Stewie, Mommy doesn’t usually read things out of Chris’s pocket. She’s more respectful than that.
    Stewie: Whatever helps you sleep at night, bitch.

I’ve put a new page on the blog which contains all my badleyat.. make sure to check it every once in a while 😛

were you ever in that situation where you say something to a person, and that person hears a completely different thing? i have! many many times…. like this for instance:

  1. MishMisha said: “Are you bored?”
    FReX heard: “I like porn.”
  2. FReX said: “House of wolves.”
    MishMisha Heard: “How to bulge.”
  3. Kambi said: “Allah ‘my big fat greek wedding’!!”
    MishMisha heard: “Allah i like my pudding!”
  4. MishMisha said: “It’s not in use!!”
    FReX heard: “I want to listen to the news!”

a couple of days ago, i was looking through my old stuff. and i found a notebook that i used to write my thoughts in. anyway. i was looking through it and i found:

at the end of it all. you’re not alone.
i scratched that and wrote at the next line:
at the end of it all. all that’s left is you…

have i always been so cynical? this was a notebook that i wrote in it when i was 12.. and it’s just a huge eye opener to know that you’ve always been a cynic.

i still like the idea of knitting in the summer, and i have the instructions and all. now all i need is the fucking tools to knit! like the needle and the yarn! where do they sell it anyway?

i’m so bored to the point where i did a comic.. now all i need is a scanner to post it. i’m working on it 😛

i think i was a blonde in my past life…

i need to buy a new iPod… it’s running out of space…

memo to self: buy new iPod. preferably 80 GBs

i think i swear alot. and i decided to count them…. i’m ashamed to reveal the number of times i’ve cursed…

I’m running out of things to say…

later foos

ishtahait barid sandwich all of a sudden…


I’m a prisoner of words unsaid,
Just lonely feelings,
Locked away in my head.

I trap myself further every time I stay……quite,
I shoot, start to speak,
But I stop and stay silent,
And now I’ve made my own hard bed,
Inside this prison,
Of words unsaid.

That’s what I am,
Not a prisoner of war,
A prisoner of words.

Mostly I say what you wanna hear,
Could you take it,
If I came clear,
Or would you rather see me stoned,
On a drug of complacency and compromise.

Guess that’s what I am,
Scraping this cold hard earth for a piece of myself,
For peace in myself.

It’d be easy if you just put me in jail,
If you lock me away,
I’d have someone to blame,
But these bars of steal are of my making,
They surround my mind and have me shaking,
My hands are cuffed behind my back,
I’m a prisoner of the worst kind in fact.

I’m a prisoner of compromise,
A prisoner of compassion,
A prisoner of kindness,
A prisoner of expectation,
A prisoner of my youth,
Runs too fast to be old,
I’ve forgotten what I was told,
Ain’t I sight to behold.

A prisoner of age dying to be young,
To my head is my hand with a gun,
And it’s cold and it’s hard,
Cause there’s nowhere to run,
Where you’ve caged yourself,
By holding your tongue.

I’m a prisoner of words unsaid,
Just lonely feelings,
Locked away in my head.

It’s like solitary confinement,
Every time I stay quite,
I shoot, start to speak but I stop,
And stay silent,
And now I’ve made my own hard bed,
Inside this prison of words unsaid.

 Written By:
Alicia Keys in her book “Tears Of Water”

Recently Played Songs…

MIMS – Like This

Eve – Satisfaction

Avant Feat. Nicole Scherzinger – Lie About Us

Gym Class Heroes – Shoot Down The Stars

Ozomatli – Saturday Night

Paolo Nutini – New Shoes (US Version) / (UK Version)

Taking Back Sunday – Liar (It Takes One To Know One)

The Vines – Ride

Kanye West Feat Daft Punk – Stronger

Montell Jordan – Get It On Tonite

Nelly Furtado – Try

Hi I’m A Mac

lol i am so proud to be a mac LOL!!

Words of wisdom..

Just when you think life's a bitch, she has puppies.

July 2007
« Jun   Aug »

Tweet Tweet

Blog Stats

  • 21,590 hits